ToDo: Invent Brilliant Title

I thought moving to Denmark in winter was the height of bad planning.  It’s been topped by combining moving to another country with Christmas…with a huge power outtage.  It’s like combining milk and orange juice…and napalm.

Of these events, Christmas is taking the back seat.  I’ve pretty much fallen down on the present-giving front.  The only place I’m doing respectably is with my family, and that’s only because I transferred a pile of cash to my sister Tam Kringle, and encouraged her to go mad.  Apparently, I’m choosing some lovely things.

So I suck with the outward flow of presents, but I’ve been doing awfully well with the inward flow.

A previous high bar for me was my present from Nic for my 21st.  She had a cartoon done of me as a surprise.  That’s a pretty great present, but she made it even greater by photocopying the core drawing and creating a series out of it.  I have been meaning for a while (okay, nine years) to get them framed, but I found them as part of the big move and figured I’d scan them and post them if nothing else.  They’re at the side in the the "Cartoons" album.  

Two recent presents are challenging for the Great Present title, however.  On Thursday night, I got home soon after the power problems kicked in.  I’d pause to complain about the 12 hours during which I was without power, but the UFC is at 113 hours and counting.  The Ding headed off to Antarctica today – it’ll be a nice warm change for him.  Anyway, there was a very large package waiting for me when I got home – I thought it might be a framed print or something.  I unwrapped it on the kitchen floor by the light of four candles…and still had no freaking idea.  I poked and prodded, and finally figured it out.

When I was a kid, my favourite toys were small toys.  Little minature versions of things.  I had this tiny little tree-house doll-house that I just adored, and I loved little cars and little people.  Fast-forward a few years, and the adult version of this is that whenever I go into Target or REI, I have to go by the outdoor section and poke at the tiny little display tents that they have.  I like to zip open all the doors and peer in the windows.

For Christmas this year, Alex got me my very own tiny little display tent.  It’s adorable (and pictured below).  And, I have to say: without instructions, only by the light of four candles, damn hard to put up.

Then on Saturday, Betsy and Dr Jimmy gave me what might potentially be the best present ever.  They explained that when I move to Denmark, there might be communication problems, and that I should have some sort of sign of how to approach me, the correct attitude to take in my presence.  Photo below.

1. Slate’s “Explainer” series
2. Blinc mascara
3. Showtime’s new show “Dexter”
4. Amazon, for features like lists and recommendations that point me to new authors
5. Countries with responsible social programs.  Like Denmark.  And Australia.
6. Ben Harper’s “Please Bleed”
7. Ginger Bears.  In fact, ginger in general, along with tomato, mint, pineapple, black beans, pepper and lime.
8. Joss Whedon’s Equality Now speech: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYaczoJMRhs
9. Trader Joe’s
10. RSS

However, I also hate reality TV and people who throw up the horns (when they aren’t Jesus or an all-girl AC/DC cover band).

1. Using gender as an excuse for a decision.  Especially "Well, I’m a guy, so…"
   Fuck you.  It’s not an excuse.  We make decisions with the top-most organ.  Sack up and take ownership for your own shitty choices.  I hate this one so much I almost hate Chris Thile for using it in a song.  And I love Chris Thile and everything he does.
2. Knee boots that don’t go all the way to the knee
   I mean, what the fuck.  They’re not Somewhere-Between-Mid-Calf-and-Knee boots. They’re fucking knee boots.  It’s clear where they’re supposed to stop.  This jacks me off so much I’m just skipping this whole thing and proceeding directly to over-the-knee boots.  Which mostly hit mid-knee.  Which I’m also pissed about.
3. The whole encore farce
   The band leaves the stage with some of their biggest hits unplayed, the house lights don’t go on.  We know we’re going to cheer and stomp until they come back on, play two more songs and really finish.  Do we really have to go through the whole pretense?  It’s absurd to the point of insulting.  (Incidentally, I also hate routine standing ovations.  Seattle is such a slut for the standing O; it’s practically matter of course around here.  An extraordinary act earns my feet.  In five years, that’s been Henry Rollins, the touring company of Wicked and Nick in La Bete.)
4. The perf on the system tray volume control
   It’s a crappy little slider bar, yet it always takes a few seconds to load.  Why?  I work on perf and let me tell you: whoever decided this was in-goal was wrong.
5. Pro-Life and Abstinence-Only groups in all their various permutations
   In their mis-guided attempts to prevent people from having sex for fun, they’re wrecking lives and killing people through misinformation and irresponsibility.  Believe what you like.  Just don’t force it on others or legislate it.  And especially don’t use it to warp kids.
6. Norah Jones
   I tried to like her. But she sounds like Christmas music.  Coldplay can shut up too.
7. While I’m at it, George Bush
8. Furry clothes
   Suede, mostly.  Nubuck, too.  Velvet sometimes.
9. Crowds
   Strangers in small numbers are suspect.  In large numbers, doing things like encroaching on my personal space, being loud and getting in my way?  Not happy, Jan.
10. Lettuce
    It’s pointless filler.  It’s the award show presenter patter of salad.